Jan Boone

Jan is the Executive Director of GEMS Girls' Clubs. Read her blog posts here.

Notice

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Sitting next to her, I noticed how quiet and unable or unwilling to make eye contact with others she was. I carefully reached over and patted her hand and asked, “You doin’ ok tonight?”

“Oh yes. I’m fine,” she said in a voice barely audible.

I tried not to stare, but I was certain something was wrong. I studied her out of the corner of my eye. Yes, there was something very different about my friend. What was it? Then I noticed it. Heavy make-up had been applied to the top of her hand attempting to cover a large and ugly bruise that ran up her hand and continued up her arm. How did that get there? I wondered.

When she suddenly turned to look at me, she must have seen the look of concern on my face. Slowly, barely above a whisper she confided, “He did it… last night… but he didn’t mean to do it.”

Memories flooded my mind. I had heard that same line over and over again in the past. Always they came from a woman who had been beaten by her husband – a woman who was a victim of domestic violence.

Before coming to GEMS, one of my previous jobs had been working for a special task force on domestic violence. The messages spoken by the hundreds of women I interviewed at that time were always the same – “He didn’t mean to do it.” “He promises to change.” And, “He says he really loves me, and He’s sorry.”

Sadly, that was never the case.

Battering is the single largest cause of injury to women—more than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reports that 3 to 4 million women are beaten in their homes every year. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, approximately 2,000 women are murdered every year by an intimate partner.

I looked into her eyes and said slowly and meaningfully, “I’d like to help. Could we talk sometime?”

“We can talk, but I’m fine, really.”

I pressed on knowing above all else that my friend indeed needed help even though her words communicated otherwise. “How about Thursday evening after work or Friday for lunch? Would either time work for you?”

“I could do lunch on Friday.”

“Great,” I said, meaning it.

We picked a spot to meet, gave each other hugs, and then got up to leave. I watched my friend walk away thinking that my meeting with her on Friday would require some preparation on my part. I needed a refresher course on: statistics including the lack of success in changing abusive behaviors, what to say to victims in denial that refuse to believe their husbands or boyfriends will likely not change, contact information for local support groups, and, equally important, contact information for domestic violence shelters.

Domestic violence has been called the silent epidemic. Victims rarely reach out for help and too often their pain, fear, and sadness go unnoticed even by friends and family members until it is too late. Their very lives could well be in our hands. This encounter was a wake-up call to me to pay more attention to others, to notice the little and the big things. Indeed it may be that someone’s very life may depend on my ability to particularize or notice them and respond with Christ’s love and compassion.

Now what about you? Will you determine to be a noticer?

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Advent

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

Here we are at the beginning of the Advent Season. Advent is, of course, that season – that period of about four weeks immediately before Christmas where we turn our hearts and our thoughts toward the coming of our great King, our loving Savior. It’s a season of waiting, anticipating, and really longing for His coming, preparing to receive Him anew as we celebrate His birth and as we eagerly look ahead to the final return of Christ to earth. What a season of hope and joy, really!

And, it’s a season that is common to all believers around the world – all of us waiting, anticipating, and longing to experience the birth of our Savior at Christmas time and longing for Him to return to earth once again and triumph over the enemy – defeat Satan, who is present everywhere in this world trying to keep all of us from being faithful followers of Jesus. We long for that final victory because we know that final victory will change everything.

But the question before us is this: how will we fill the days of Advent? If we are truly getting our hearts and minds ready to experience Christmas and celebrate His birth rightly – offering Him our heartfelt thanksgiving, how are we going to do that?

In our North American culture, we have many traditions that have developed around Christmas, don’t we? Decorating for Christmas, baking for Christmas, shopping for gifts to give at Christmas, wrapping those gifts, sending Christmas cards to family and friends, attending Christmas parties – and all of these things have the potential to be very good things – they can bless us and bless others as well. But we have such a propensity in North America to overdo – to get so caught up on these things that we miss His coming. We lose our focus on the Savior’s birth and trade that in for exhaustion, overspending, overeating, overdecorating, over–everything – indulgence of every kind. Anybody know what I’m talking about?

Why do we do that? Why do we choose to fall into bed exhausted on Dec 26 and wonder how we missed it?

There are probably many things that contribute to it, but two of the biggest reasons are these:

1. Satan deceives us into thinking that these things are the most important things. They are things we have to do… and not just half do, but to go all out? And we can go all out because of the second reason…

2. Our affluence – we have so many resources – putting it plainly, we have so much money! Compared to the rest of the world, all of us living in the US are indeed rich!

And, because we have so many resources, so much money, we spend it – especially at Christmas time!

Now spending money in and of itself is not a bad thing. But we need to remember that as children of God, all that we have belongs to HIM – which includes the money in our pockets, banks, and 401k’s – it all belongs to Him, and He entrusts it to us to be wise stewards of It – to spend it wisely. Not spending it all on ourselves or on things where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal as the verse from Matthew 6:19 tells us, but spending money on treasures in Heaven, on things that have eternal consequences. That means that our responsibility is to spend money on things that last and make a difference forever.

So what can we do, then, on this front side of Advent to prepare our hearts and our minds, to make sure that we don’t miss Him? That we experience with fresh eyes and open hearts each and every day of this Advent Season, the fullness of what it means that God sent His Son to earth as our Savior – to be born as a child in lowly stable, placed in a manger for His bed – that He came to be the sacrifice for your sins and my so we can live with Him forever? How do we make sure that happens?

There are three practical things I’d like to suggest:

1. Decide now what you will do and won’t do. And get rid of the guilt for choosing not to do some of the things that really are not part of God’s priorities. Make choices now and don’t be tempted to add-in. Guard your calendar and your time.

2. Be sure you are spending time every day, every day in Advent focused on His coming – really prepare your heart and your mind for that. Don’t miss it. First thing in the morning is usually the best time for it. Start your day in some kind of devotional reading and time of prayer that really centers on what Christ’s coming and His eventual return to earth really means to us as believers. If you have a regular devotional that you use, either set it aside or even better, add to it something specifically geared for Advent and the true celebration of Christ’s coming, of Christmas.

3. Consider how you will invest the money that God has given you. Will it be exclusively on you and your family? Will you give extra to the church? And what will you do with God’s clear mandate to us as believers to care for those that have nothing – to care for the widows and the orphans? How might you care for them?

Might I suggest that you consider giving gifts of bricks from GEMS’ Brick Campaign as a way to care for orphans. Each “brick” that you purchase will be used to build The Esther School in Zambia, for orphan and under-resourced children. Please watch the new video below and read more on the GEMS website.

The Esther School is a BIG undertaking – a big job! BUT we serve a BIG, BIG God, and He will make it possible through girls and counselors and women and families all across the world. We will build the school, brick by brick.

And isn’t The Esther School the very kind of thing that God calls us to do in this season of Advent and all year long as well? Isn’t this a way of honoring Christ with our actions, being obedient to His call to care for those that cannot care for themselves? I believe this is exactly the kind of thing that is acceptable to God – that pleases Him. When we get our eyes off of ourselves – stop thinking about what we want and what our culture tells us we ought to being doing, and look at a lost and hurting world and how we can make a difference with the many resources that He has made available to us – we delight God’s heart. To whom much has been given, much is expected. The Esther School – for such a time as this!

The Esther School from GEMS Girls’ Clubs on Vimeo.

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Learning good lessons

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

I love how God uses the events and daily activities of our lives to teach us. Our trips to Africa have been great opportunities for learning many things from The Teacher.

Our most recent trip was no exception. Daily, the plans we thought that were in place for the day changed. We were very much at the mercy of others – they were in control, not us, so we needed to just be “get along girls” and go with the flow. We prayed daily and earnestly, reminding ourselves of the annual theme Prayer-No Worries!

This was fresh in our minds following conference. And then we simply trusted Him to work all things together for good. We did not worry and we did not try to manipulate the events or people around us. It was so freeing to totally depend on God – to trust in Him and not ourselves. And He blessed us each day as we lived in obedience.

Now that we’ve returned, it’s a bit different. Honestly, I find it more challenging to give the cares of this world – the things that bind us – totally to God. I’m more inclined to hold on to a small piece of something and try to make something happen myself – on my own strength. I have to work much harder at giving it all to Him.

When I asked God why that might be, He was quick with an answer. In Africa, we have nothing, we own nothing, and we control nothing. So it is essential for us to depend on God. And since we know it is essential, it is easy. But here in North America, we have access to so much stuff- it’s right there at our fingertips. With a key stroke, phone call, or signed check, we can make a lot of things happen! And with that kind of access, we are tempted to make our wishes, our plans happen without really even consulting God. I think it takes more effort to live the life of Prayer-No Worries! in North America. But I know the rewards are equally rich – the blessings pour forth when we simply give it all to God – when we fully trust Him and allow Him to sit on the throne of our lives.

So, what am I gonna do…? Work at it! I’ve tasted the sweet life and want it to continue no matter where I am!

Posted in Faith, The Call to Africa | 1 Comment »

Better than 20/20 vision

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

I cannot really explain it – this deep, deep love, compassion, and admiration I have for this girl. She’s so very precious to me. Perhaps for one of the first times in my life I understand what seeing someone as Jesus sees them possibly means. While still a child, not even a teenager, she was raped and became pregnant. When her parents learned of her condition, they disowned her and made her leave their home forever. She was an orphan left on the streets to fend for herself with the thousands… millions of other orphaned, unwanted, desperately lonely children in Africa.

Then, an aid worker took her in and cared for her until a relative of some kind could be located. The aid worker introduced this child to Jesus… and her life dramatically changed forever.  Life has not been easy for Getrude. She must work hard living with her great aunt. She is treated little better than a slave in her home, but you would NEVER know this about her. She has the most beautiful smile on her face all the time. She has a song about Jesus always on her lips. She is teaching other girls about this Jesus that she has come to know and love and how He can change their lives also. This girl is a true GEM! She started attending one of our first GEMS Clubs in Zambia and for three years she met in club every Saturday. This year, however, she is now a counselor herself – fully trained to teach the younger girls in her club.

What do all the girls say about Getrude?

“We are learning! Getrude is teaching us so much. We ask her questions and she tells us what to do. We are learning.”

Jesus looked at the frightened, abused little girl and saw His Getrude – His beautiful daughter. He saw who she would become and loved her through every experience along the way.

Yes, I have developed eyes of love for Getrude and it has been a privilege to know her and encourage her over the last three years. But I confess my eyes are not sharp enough. I need to see everyone through those same eyes that Jesus has – eyes that are always full of love and acceptance and can see the future and the fruit that will be born from the Master’s hand.

But how do I get there? How does one sharpen their eyes so they look upon everyone with far better than 20/20 vision? Any ideas?

gertrude1

Posted in Miscellaneous, The Call to Africa | 2 Comments »

A Kindred Spirit in Mary

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

I love mornings! They are THE best part of my day – get up early, hop on the treadmill for 25 minutes, do a few stretching exercises, and then settle down in my red chair with a cup of wonderful smelling Hazelnut coffee, and God’s Word. It’s the best!

The Word says that the Bible is living and active, and it is! Sometimes things truly jump off the page at me. Like yesterday morning in the book of John. I often use a parallel Bible and read most passages in both the NIV and the Message. I just like thinking about verses in slightly different ways as it seems to make the meaning bigger somehow.

So I was in John 2 where Jesus delights the wedding guests by turning water into wine.  Remember that it is Jesus’ mom that is encouraging Him to make things happen – to help the poor bridegroom out so he does not look bad by running out of wine. But read with me what Jesus said to His mom… and then what she does in response.

First, read the NIV:

“Dear woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied, “My time has not yet come.”

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Now read the Message:

Jesus said, “Is that any of our business, Mother-yours or mine? This isn’t my time. Don’t push me.”

She went ahead anyway, telling the servants, “Whatever he tells you, do it.”

Read the second line again from the Message: She went ahead anyway…

Honestly, I started chuckling, and I couldn’t stop smiling for the longest time. I thought, Oh man, Mary, do we have something in common! Now I did not necessarily think that it was a good thing that we had THAT in common, but I did feel a bit more of a kindred spirit in Mary! I could identify particularly with her being a mom and wanting to make sure her child handled things “perfectly” even to the point of “helping” things along. If you are a mom you can probably identify with that as well. We have this fierce love for our children and deep desire to see them do well. So sometimes we have a tendency to “help things along” whether or not we have been invited to do so. Now I’m not advocating this course of action, but simply admitting my predisposition to do so.

What about you? What response did Mary’s comments trigger in you?

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Lessons Learned from the Party

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Our first official blog entry… this could be a very good thing! But what to write about? Perhaps sharing lessons learned might be as edifying as anything.

It was supposed to be a fun, light hearted evening and indeed it started that way. Sharing a meal with people we had grown to love – members of our small group, we were truly enjoying the fellowship. Laughter was free and easy. All was well.

Following coffee and dessert of peppermint ice cream pie, we headed for the living room to let the games begin! An evening of competitive board games was ahead of us. Often the men formed one team and the women another, so yes the competition was high, but it had always been good natured and pure fun… until this night.

We began with an old favorite, Pictionary. None of us could remember playing the game for many years, so we were a little fuzzy on the rules. Quickly we reviewed the instructions and then playing commenced. What a hoot! Sometimes drawings that looked like absolutely nothing were quickly guessed and points were scored. Other times, more elaborate drawings were attempted, but the word went unguessed – no points were earned. Game number one ended with the women winning handily. And oh how we savored our victory!!! The women had actually BEAT the men! We hooped and hollered and rubbed it in unashamedly!

The men, of course, did not take kindly to the loss and demanded a rematch. After all, their honor was at stake! So game number two began. Back and forth the points went with the lead changing many times. Always there was a loud groan when anyone rolled the dice and the marker landed on the dreaded ALL PLAY. That meant that everyone could have a go at guessing what the picture drawn on the marker board was supposed to represent.

The score was tied. Both teams were on the final square. Whoever guessed correctly on the next drawing would win the game and victory would be theirs to savor! Anticipation was high…

It was my turn to create the drawing. No roll of the dice was required since both teams were on the final square and both would be guessing. I drew the card and my eyes went to the word at the bottom where the ALL PLAYS were listed. “Bent” was the word. How do I draw “bent?” I thought.

As I was painfully trying to formulate a plan for my drawing, I heard someone call out, “Just pick any word on the card. That’s what Vern does! And he’s a pastor!” Before I even knew what was happening my eyes were darting up and down looking for a different word on the card. Yes, an easier word was what I needed, I thought. Winning, beating the men once again, was indeed on my mind.

There it was! The word “ice skating” was under the ACTION section of the card. I could draw that, I told myself! And in an instant I locked eyes with my teammates, encouraged and assured them that we could get this one, replaced the card at the back of the box, and began my drawing of an ice skate.

“Ice Skating,” my teammate called out loudly.

“Yes!” I said throwing the marker in the air as all the women broke out into a chorus of cheers.

“We won! We won!” we all said together, giving hugs and high fives!

Then it happened. One of the guys must have seen my eyes darting up and down the card. Or was it the evil glint in my eyes that gave me away? Or perhaps he knew all too well the temptation of winning at all costs and assumed others might likewise give in to the same temptations he had given in to. Who knows why, but very quietly as he listened to the women offering victory shouts, he picked up my card at the back of the box. After reading through all the words, he forcefully declared the truth for all to hear.

“She cheated! She used the ACTION word instead of the ALL PLAY word which was ‘bent.’”

An audible gasp rang out in room. “What will we do, what will we do? Will we replay it?” said one of the women, wanting to make amends quickly. But the damage had been done. A couple of the men, including my own husband, were already leaving the room, shaking their heads, and making a beeline for the food table.

I stood there for what seemed like eternity trying to understand what had happened. The rest of the women one by one abandoned me to my own thoughts and joined the men in the kitchen. What had I done? I asked myself. What had motivated me to do such a thing? I could have drawn the word “bent.” Why didn’t I? And what should I do now?

As I joined the others in the kitchen, they had already engaged in new conversations and seemed to have forgotten and forgiven my error. No, my SIN, I corrected my thoughts. Call it by its real name, I told myself, still mulling over this sudden turn of events. How could someone who is passionate about her faith, who loves God with all her being, and works diligently to help others grow in their knowledge and love for Him, have made THAT choice so easily… so quickly… and until caught, without remorse? How could I have so easily done such a thing? Guilt filled me.

As the evening went on, game playing resumed. Good spirited bantering continued between the men and the women teams. Nothing changed it seemed. And yet for me EVERYTHING had changed. I had failed. I had, in a twinkling of an eye, gone from a saint to sinner, trading all the riches, joy, and peace of doing what is right, for a fleeting moment of unearned victory. What a price to pay, I thought, as I washed the dishes after all had said their good nights and given hugs at the door.

I went to the bedroom and with heavy heart asked for forgiveness from the One who knows and sees all things. After a while, a welcome and quiet calm penetrated my heart. But there was something BIG I was to learn from this, I knew. This was no small deal. “Thank You, Father, that Your love is not based on my righteousness. Thank You for loving me unconditionally.”

As I switched off the bedroom light I was at peace knowing that tomorrow the lessons would be revealed by the Author of Light, the Spirit of Truth Himself.

Life lessons from my party night failure:

1. When we disappoint God, it is serious business. Small stuff, big stuff – no matter. Choosing to do what is right is His way and the best way. Even when the pressure is on. Even when you could lose everything.

2. Choosing to do what is right has nothing to do with the potential for getting caught. It’s not about that. It’s really not even about oneself. It’s about pleasing God and honoring Him with our actions. Just as I experience heartache when I see my own precious daughters make unwise choices, I know that You, Abba Father, experience that same heartache when I make poor choices, only Your ache is much greater because of the immense size and purity of Your heart.

3. The smell of “victory” is alluring and intoxicating! When we make deals with the enemy and compromise our behavior by adopting the world’s motto of “slip through, slide through, anyway to get through”, there will be NO peace in our hearts. Misery will surely follow.

4. Lessons learned are meant to be shared.

What lessons have you learned lately?

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