Dear Distressed,

I am so sorry you are going through this. You’ve already been praying about this—that’s awesome. The first thing you should try to do is ask your friend if the two of you can talk. Ask God to be with you and help you say the right words. Give careful thought to what you are going to say and listen to how she responds.

If you are unable to speak to her without her saying mean things, you might consider sending her a note letting her know how much her words hurt you. You might also want to ask her what happened to cause the sudden change in how she treats you. If you choose to send her a note, have your mom, dad, or another close adult help you. When notes are written in anger or when you are hurt it is easy to write something that you’ll later regret. It is a good idea to get a second opinion before you send it.

If you can’t resolve this issue, remember that it is never OK for someone to treat another person the way she has been treating you. If she keeps treating you in mean ways, continue to pray for her but consider walking away from this friendship.