In his book, Live Like a Missionary – giving your life to what matters most, Jeff Iorg asked some pointed questions about relationships:

• When you are with people, are you really with them?
• Are people around you part of the wallpaper?
• Do you notice people or are you distracted by other tasks or priorities?

He then challenges his readers to be engaged. Iorg writes, “Make the choice to turn off your cell phone and declutter your calendar so you can focus on genuinely connecting with people.”

His words convicted my spirit. How many times have I shared the same pew, workspace, bleacher, or even family meal, and not really been engaged with the person sitting next to me? We don’t lack opportunities to have relationships (gracious, some people have hundreds of friends on Facebook). What we lack most is true heart connection – being the loyal, loving, helpful friends that God calls us to be (Proverbs 17:17).

The paralyzed man in Capernaum had loyal friends who helped him in his time of need. Four of his friends each took a corner of his mat and carried him to Jesus (Mark 2:1-5). That wasn’t something they did quick a minute. It took time, effort, and work. They were carrying a grown man through a crowd. There were obstacles. Since they couldn’t get to Jesus at ground level, they had to get creative. They went to the roof, dug through it, and lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on in front of Jesus. It took love. They gave that man what every person desires most – unfailing love (Proverbs 19:22).

There are opportunities to befriend people at every corner of the map that we call home – the kitchen table, the bus stop, a co-worker’s desk, the grocery aisle, a hospital bed, the gym, a baby’s changing table . . .

It will take time, effort, and work. Carry each other’s burdens, do not become weary in doing good, do good to all people  (Galatians 6:2, 9, 10). Be engaged; pay attention. Listen. Really listen. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). There will be obstacles. Get creative. Battle the temptation to put your needs before the needs of others. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3). It requires love – love that is patient and kind, a self-less love that loves your neighbor as yourself(1 Corinthians 13:4, Matthew 22:39).