November 2008 | Dealing with Fighting

At some point, siblings will likely partake in some form of bickering or fighting. How you handle these situations has the potential to speak volumes to your children about dealing with conflict.

Some parents simply separate their kids if they are unable to work things out on their own. And, while this may solve the immediate conflict, it is unlikely to spark lasting change. To truly help your children understand an appropriate way to talk to and interact with others, offer guidance when you overhear bickering.

When your children are fighting, call one of them out of the room and discuss how to confront, ignore, and/or talk about problems. Talk to them about what it means to be a peacemaker. Give some specific ideas for dealing with the current issue, then send them back in to try it again. If necessary, do the same with the other child/children involved. Talking to your children separately will help them focus on what you are saying and prevent them from corporately ignoring your promptings.

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